Human rights abuses in psychiatric institutions

While this has been an empowering experience, it has also brought up painful memories: memories of abuse suffered in psychiatric institutions.

The oxford dictionary defines the word abuse as such; use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse. I firmly believe that the doctors and nurses in these institutions "misuse" their power over psychiatric patients. At first, I was hesitant to write about this subject. But once I began doing research, I realized that the abuse I suffered under the care of these individuals who were supposed to help me was very real.

The online testimonies about this type of abuse were strikingly similar to that of situations I had experienced and that of situations I had witnessed. Particular stories that overlapped were that of solitary confinement, restraints, and forcible injections. So as not to break the anonymity of the people who wrote these accounts, I will provide stories of my own.

Solitary Confinement

Story #1: It was December 2008, my first manic episode. I had been heavily sedated and woke up in a small hospital room. There was a window on the door where I could see the back of a security guards head. I had to go to the bathroom very badly. I was pleading with the security guard to let me out of the room so I could do so. No one acknowledge my existence. I became very agitated and peed in the garbage can, instead of the floor. I checked my hospital psych records and in between the hours of 9 and 10 pm there is no record of any of this it just says "becoming increasingly agitated and in room urinating over garbage can." No one mentions that I asked numerous times to be allowed to use the restroom. (When I tell "normal" people this story some are shocked that I even used the garbage can)

Story #2: My second manic episode happened in December of 2009. And I was placed in solitary confinement for an unknown period of time. Again, was not aloud to use the restroom. Was forced to urinate on my mattress. It felt like torture. It was torture. Unfortunately, I do not possess the records for that specific time period.

Restraints

I have witnessed my roommate - and 80 year old woman - be put in restraints for hours on end. I have also witnessed numerous other patients undergo the same type of treatment.

There is also the example of Jeffrey James where  "physical restraints triggered the “pulmonary thromboembolism” (blot clot in lungs that traveled from James’ leg) that killed Jeffrey James. A young 34-year old black man, Jeffrey died a horrible death in the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), Toronto’s notorious psychoprison, on July 13, 2005." (source:http://rickpdx.wordpress.com/2009/04/20/stories-from-mental-hell-treatment/)

Forcible Injection

This is perhaps one of the most horrific experiences for me. If you go through the records I attained from my hospital, it clearly states that I have a "needle phobia". One day, I refused medication. I learned the hard way never to question or refuse medication. I was escorted to my room by security, as it states in my records. What they fail to mention in the records is that once they mentioned a needle I agreed to take a handful of pills. I was then told I was needed to be "taught a lesson". Two large male security guards began ripping off my pants. I have been a victim of sexual assault in the past, so naturally I was attempting to fight them off. The nurses who had gathered were laughing and telling me that the more I fought the more it was going to hurt. It was dehumanizing. The records state that the injection was "effective as patient is more settled." If by settled they meant sobbing uncontrollably due to shame and humiliation, then yes, I was indeed "settled." I still have nightmares to this day.

On March 4th 2013, Mr. Juan E Mendez -the United Nations Special Rapporteur on torture and other cruel, inhumane or degrading treatment of punishment - made a speech at the 22nd session of the Human Rights Council focusing on the "abuse in health-care settings." He also "emphasizes how certain treatments run afoul the prohibition on torture and ill-treatment". He goes on by demonstrating "how abusing practices in health-care setting meet the definition of torture"

I highly recommend checking out what he had to say:

http://www.madinamerica.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/torture.pdf

The first step towards addressing issues of human rights is acknowledgement, which many of us have never received from our governments. The UN holds no real power, only the power of suggestion. What the UN did do however is set a foundation for people like me to make an argument that this type abuse is in fact a gross violation of human rights.

Quotes that spoke to me

Going through my journals this past week has been one of the most interesting experiences of my life.

I have learned to much about myself, it is almost scary. 

However, when looking at the first journal the other day, I skipped over the first couple of entries. As they were simply quotes that I had written down during my first period of mania in December 2008, I felt they were not important at the time. Perhaps not. But tonight, I went through these quotes and realized that the fact that they stood out to me provides yet another perspective of the manic state, which is what this experience is all about.

My first hospitalization was the most traumatic for me. I was 18 years old, the youngest person in the an acute psychiatric ward of a hospital in my hometown. I saw things that no 18 year old should have to see. I was treated like an animal - we all were.

What I find interesting about this particular hospital is that they 'strongly encourage' patients not to communicate after discharge.

Anyways, this post isn't about the politics of our psychiatric institutions. Perhaps one day I will have the courage to write about the atrocities I have seen and undergone, but today is not the day. 

Today is all about the book I acquired through a trading system patients have in the hospital. My dad had brought me a national geographic book about the solar system, and it happened to tickle the fancy of one of the other patients in the ward. I wanted her book on quotations. The swap was made.

On December 12th, 2008, I spent the next (what felt like) 2 hours, going through "The Book of Positive Quotations, Compiled and Arranged by John Cook, Fairview Press".

I do not own this book anymore. That was put in quotations because that is how it was documented in the journal. And yes, for some reason, I felt that it was important to write down the publishing company as well. 

I am very thorough when manic.

Here are the quotations that stood out to me, as written:

""Boredom is rage spread thin." 

-Paul Tillich

"Being bored is an insult to oneself"

-Jules Renard

"The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible- and achieve it, generation after generation."

-Pearl S, Buck

"Sometimes it proves the highest understanding not to understand."

-Baltasaar Gracian

"Every genius is bound to be naive"

-J.C.F. von schiller

"It is a sign of strength, not of weakness, to admit that you don't know all the answers."

-John P. Loughrane

"Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know."

-Daniel Borstin

"The work will teach you how to do it."

-Estonian proverb

"Where there is an unknowable, there is a promise."

-Thornton Wilder

"Dare to be naive"

-R. Buckminster Fuller

"No man is free who is not master of himself."

-Epictetus

"The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence, but in the mastery, of his passions."

-Alfred, Lord Tennyson

"I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; the hardest victory is the victory over self."

-Aristotle"

And on Dec 14th, 2008, I include these final quotes:

""All that we are is a result of what we have thought."

-Buddha

"Words are mere bubbles of water, but deeds are drops of gold."

-Chinese proverv

"What you theoretically know, vividly realize."

-Francis Thompson"

I had a teacher in high school who said something to me when I went to visit him in a manic state. He listened to me ramble on and before I left he said: "Be persistent in your journey - there is always lights, and remember that the darkest shadows indicate that there is a bright light somewhere."

I will never forget that.

Manic Theories and Concepts

"When you're manic you feel as though there is a force working for you."

That is an excerpt  from my journal, written during a manic period on November 22nd, 2010. Shortly after writing this, I wrote down some theories that I found very interesting reading while stable. Here they are, unedited. (name of person who I am quoting in my personal life has been taken out, for personal reasons) :

"We are people.

 "mental illness is an excuse for people to do bad in life"
                                                              -[anonymous]

What [anonymous] meant is completely different from the way I see it now. Mental illness is and excuse for people to do bad in "life"

But it's not the mentally ill who make the excuses.

Who are we to know exactly what "life" is? In our world, life and society are oxymorons and synonyms simultaneously.

How ignorant of a species are we to claim that we know what life is?

Man created society + once we tried to impose it on people, sh*t went down, and will always go down once the domino effect begins."

I then proceed to draw a diagram that essentially demonstrates that every major revolution (mainly industrial and scientific) has been followed by plagues. I am by no means a historian."HIST 1050/1130" is referring to textbooks from University. This is simply what I wrote at the time.

It is my personal policy not to include quotes unless I can provide the exact quote from my journal. Here is where it becomes a bit more clear:

"Agricultural revolution in 1200s---->Bubonic plague:
1. We know they came from rats, we know what it did to our body, but no one know exactly why 1348-1350 (I think-pretty positive it was then, check HIST 1050 or 1130?) had such an extreme loss of life.

Industrial Revolution in 1800s------>Spanish Influenza
2. We know it attacked people w strong immune systems. But no one knows why.

why did they call it the spanish flu?"

I continue:

"What if mental illness is nature's way of evening out all the bullsh*t that our species has done?

Mental illness doesn't discriminate,

What if humans are the virus and mental illness is the antibody?

Animals respond to things. We clearly aren't responding to the bullsh*t around us so maybe she decided to mix things up a bit."

I close with this:

"Without Joan of Arc's "manic episode", would the 100 years war ever ended?

what would our world be like now?"

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Interesting Manic Quotes

I was diagnosed with manic depression, more commonly known as Bipolar Disorder, in December 2008. Like some people who have been diagnosed, I have spent time in psychiatric institutions due to "manic episodes". During my period of "mania” between November and December 2010, I kept a series of journals. It's taken me three years since the last entry in these journals to be able to read them, as I do not remember most of what it is that I wrote. The months that the entries were written are provided. Nothing has been edited. I have categorized and highlighted certain aspects that I find interesting. There are three journals, which also include detailed experiences in the psychiatric institutions. I do not wish to trigger anyone. If you wish, you may contact me as I am very open to discussing this topic. The reason I have decided to share excerpts from these writings is not to "save anyone" or to claim that I know everything there is to know about manic depression, or life in general for that matter. It is simply being shared in order to gain a better understanding of it. I'm also not claiming to agree or disagree with any ideas that are being presented, this is just simply what was written at the time. I ask that you do not judge. Please open up your heart while reading these quotes, as they are a very personal aspect of my life.

Manic/Psychological Concepts:

- "Don't they always say that life happens for a reason? Life becomes a lot easier once you truly believe this. Is that how a manic person achieves that feeling of euphoria?

Trust me, life is a lot easier when you "know where you're going" and "everything is put in place for "the plan" "

- " *we just express ourselves differently* Takes us more time to gather our thoughts. Doesn't mean we are stupid. Actually, it would appear to be the exact opposite."

- "Manic thoughts are thoughts. Period. Don't hide from them. Just because people tell you it's not normal. If normal is that out there, then "crazy" is what I definitely would prefer to be."

- "We understand the unknown."

- "We are just grinding our gears. It's no wonder we explode and make rash decisions. And this isn't unique to the mentally ill. It's human nature."

- "Human nature. Minus human. Still equals nature. Nature will always be here. Once human nature starts to overpower, Nature's will, she will always fight back. And as much as we hate and are scared to admit it, that is one battle we CANNOT win. As hard as that is to admit.

How can you nuke something that isn't there?

You can't!"

- "Closed doors are key. Like I said, senses are way too heightened right now. If you have a thought, it's important to understand where that thought is coming from"

- "When you write something down when you are manic. If it isn't important, then you go to the next topic. Hence why sh*t we write never makes sense."

- "Stigma literally means hot iron being branded into your forehead. The burn is there. People just need to open all three eyes."

- "I don't like pens. They are too slow."

- "Once you figure out what the puzzle looks like, you can start putting the pieces together."

- "My head is crazy. No wonder they call me crazy. I am. I feel like I can read people."

- "Whoever is racing to the finish of life never gets to appreciate the scenery. If we all just adopted the philosophy of togetherness we will all be able to conquer the world. Together."

- "Where does mania begin and happiness end?"

- "The scars are there even though you can't see them."

Religion:

- “Religion is supposed to be a moral compass, whereas organized religion acts as a form of pseudo-morality.

Once you attempt to impose your views or beliefs on anyone else, the most amazing and genuine things become tainted.

Religion should unite us. Religion and spirituality are synonyms. Therefore organized religion and religion itself are opposites.

Organized religion is just another application of the age of “divide and conquer” theory.”

- “Same message. All the beef. Organized religion is the beef between the bun. And what is a hamburger without beef?

Bread.”

Politics:

- "Why is it that people around the world live in insanely depressing environments. And we fall apart at the slightest change in our little bubbles. Just like the palace of Versailles under Louis XIV

Removed the voters (aka bourgeoisie) from the poverty 2/3 of the population was suffering. By doing so, they were not forced to be around any suffering and therefore couldn't experience it.

How did he keep the masses quiet? He kept them busy by forcing them to pay ridiculously high taxes. They were so afraid of what the state would do to them if they didn't pay the taxes tha they kept working and sacrificing to protect their family and themselves."

- "Communism and fascism overlap. They all lead to the same thing: suffering."

- "We need to think more round and less straight."

- "We live in a society that employs the classic divide and conquer. We are suffering as a result of a divide and conquer mentality."

- " "Money can't buy you happiness." anonymous: "that's crap" So, by your logic, no one was EVER happy until we invented money?

Printing more money.

Money is paper. Paper comes from trees. Trees help us breathe.

If this is "common scientific knowledge" then how can people rationalize cutting them all down?

They can't."

- "Scarcity is an excuse for the free market to monopolize the world."

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